31 Aug 2014


Its really hard for me to comprehend what Im feeling. I cant breathe. I open my eyes, my chest was tight. Theres a lump in my throat. My eyelids are heavy. Feeling like sleeping all the time. Something ruined my day, make my getaway turn to horrible one. Sucking hole in my chest. Even its tiny but it hurts, torturing and ripping. 

My heart broke into millions pieces and the worst part is, I still cant get over it. I have to pretend that Im happy in front of everyone, telling that Im strong enough for being alone without you but the truth is I'd thought about you every single minutes since I knew that you have a new girlfriend. Every time I close my eyes, your face flashes in front of me. The memories, they just kill me every time Im thinking of them. I wish there was a cure for heartbreak. If only I  knew when it would finally stop hurting. 

Idk why but I remembered one thing, when youre whispering in my ears said that you will always be with me no matter what, through my thick and thin and my ups and down. Everything changed now. We are so far apart now that I couldnt even know you anymore. I dont mind being called the ex who couldnt move on, who the one continued hoping. I was once yours and you know very well how not so good I am with keeping to myself whatever I feel. Im actually afraid, afraid that no one will ever feel for me like you did to me. 

I dont feel like to continue typing anymore. I wish you happiness MHMA