17 Apr 2013


How can I put this into words. That feeling of missing someone, and out of sudden burst into tears without any valid reason. Abah has told me before, "just stay in the relationship in the term of friend, don't put hope too much even he is the one you can rely on". And yes, I didn't listen what Abah said to me until it truly happens, and yes. I regret. Feel sorry to myself. As Abah always concern about mine, he always ask me what's you're doing and how about us. But then, I just about to answer that everything was fine, you treat me well, everything was just normal blalala. Yes, everything was just like it was supposed to be when the words I was going to say got stuck down my throat. And I just remember how we became like a stranger where you didn't reply my text and you've totally change out of sudden. I don't even know why, but you weren't the one Hafiz that I've known before. I'm so torn inside. Once time, that we promise to tell each other, about anything even it is the bitter truth, but you kept it until I found the truth, saw you with that girl by my own. It was the stupidest thing that I'm only let myself to see what you're doing with her. 

We had another fighting before these shit happens, I can't remember everything exactly but I told him how horrible he made me feel sometimes. How I felt he was trying to replace me and memories of me with another girl and at one point when I started crying, he calm me down and he was on the verge of tears, too. He told me, he will always be with me. So, there is another promises. We used to talk about what my favorite thing to do when I'm with him after things got softer. I told him that I wont be the girl that he can cheat or dump for. He looked down and nodded. We continued talk, reminisced our first met and how he make surprised on my birthday. Sing me lullaby every night.  I just, just can't forget everything you did to me.  

And now everything just change into another part. We became stranger, but yes, I still love you. What I've to do is pray, pray and pray. Am really hope that things will change even times can't be undo. I'm always gives you chance, you know it right? I'd wait for you regardless Hafiz even it take a year, or more or less. 

Sigh. I'm just wondering how long its going to take.