11 Mar 2013


As well, I have been struggling for this week without him. Without him who always take care mine, who are the one who make me laugh hysterically with his joke. Ya know, being ignored after fighting for a small matter and now we are not talking much, isn't cool okay. Not cool much i guess. I have come to realize in these past one years, that love is not as hard as some people make it to be. But in certain situation  i admit that love is ain't that easy. We must care much, sacrifice as well. Someone once told me, to love and be loved, it can be the easiest way but to remaining the relationship, too hard. Damn hard could i say. I felt this pain. A time when we are in the infinite state of infatuation, a feeling which no word and emotion come close to describing as well, it was like 'ouh, this life is worth living'. But when it comes to real, when we lose it, its became unreal. So do you have any idea how cruel life can be, dear? Its a pain i cant describe at all. Its killing me inside. Yes, tough tho.

In case, there are few moments in life which I believe that we can find out the true happiness, whereas everything will stands still and every emotion thought or worry were gone. Its a feeling that i wouldn't trade for anything. Nevertheless, there is no real conclusion on this matter, because its too undescribable. So I cry when no one sees me. Thinking deeply about us.How much its torture me, ripping me. Its not that matter after all. Sometimes I'm tired. Frustrated. Feeling like I don't even know what do you want, what's your feeling. If only I could know your feeling, yes I will be the one who really take care your heart as well as I care mine. And for this time, almost one years I'm looking back on everything we have been through. I've never been so comfortable with anybody in my life. He know me, and I know all of you. So does it is not a matter to you? 

After all, I never ever thought it would have to became like this and time were changed a lot. Literally change. And I really hope that things would work out the way they were supposed to before I’d ever have to feel this way. Too afraid to be heartbroken again. So as much as it aches me, breaks me, kills me to this, I'm stepping back. Still, you're the chosen one Hafiz. I just miss you.