31 Aug 2014


Its really hard for me to comprehend what Im feeling. I cant breathe. I open my eyes, my chest was tight. Theres a lump in my throat. My eyelids are heavy. Feeling like sleeping all the time. Something ruined my day, make my getaway turn to horrible one. Sucking hole in my chest. Even its tiny but it hurts, torturing and ripping. 

My heart broke into millions pieces and the worst part is, I still cant get over it. I have to pretend that Im happy in front of everyone, telling that Im strong enough for being alone without you but the truth is I'd thought about you every single minutes since I knew that you have a new girlfriend. Every time I close my eyes, your face flashes in front of me. The memories, they just kill me every time Im thinking of them. I wish there was a cure for heartbreak. If only I  knew when it would finally stop hurting. 

Idk why but I remembered one thing, when youre whispering in my ears said that you will always be with me no matter what, through my thick and thin and my ups and down. Everything changed now. We are so far apart now that I couldnt even know you anymore. I dont mind being called the ex who couldnt move on, who the one continued hoping. I was once yours and you know very well how not so good I am with keeping to myself whatever I feel. Im actually afraid, afraid that no one will ever feel for me like you did to me. 

I dont feel like to continue typing anymore. I wish you happiness MHMA

18 Jul 2014



1 Jun 2014


Its June already and its almost a year without you that I had been struggle hard to let go everything about you, about us. Do you know how I've made it through the past years? It was difficult that I could even die. No, there was just a time that I felt like dying. But thinking of you, I couldn't. Seeing you everyday in class, and being in the same class for tutorial session how could I stay away from you when the situation aren't. And today I still remember those moment Im lying on the bed crying every night thinking that I'll never stop loving you, but to still love you until now its more like being stabbed by a knife. Its hurt. So now Im survived, I did. 

28 May 2014

One Month

It has been one month after your born day. And I still remember how much I cherished this date, make surprise for every 27th like its your very special day. I really want to share my thoughts with you, sharing my story my problem but you haven't text me day after the wish. Idk why but the wishes actually gave you hint that Im still standing here, waiting for you to come back for me. My heart dropped when I saw someone called you sayang on your facebook comment space, and I decided to deactivate my account. I know I should move on but I really can't. Still, I really thank you for replying mine and had a short conversations with adik. Mama abah really miss you hafiz. All the best to you and your new life. Moga awak baik baik saja ;) And I just remember those moment bila saya buat kan chicken wrap dan awak mengadu pedas, comel sebab mesti dahi berkerut mata sepet. I just miss you. Xoxo, H

4 May 2014


Mintak laluan nak mencarut sekejap


Okay dah, terima kasih

25 Apr 2014


My hand numb. I don't know how to put this into words. Just want to say ALHAMDULILLAH for every achievement up to this day. 

Even tak dekan, even tak sehebat orang dapat 4 flat, tak semua subject dapat A. Orang kata susah susah dulu, senang lenang kemudian kan? Belajar undang undang tak senang macam orang fikir. Memorized case, elaborate principle, discuss the fact, buat review case, duduk dekat library dekat sehari cari case yang dah berkurun lama semata mata nak buat review case dan siapkan assignment. Duduk dekat lab sambil kejar masa dua jam just for drafting. Susah, sampai tahap aku rasa nak give up. Dah berdepan final paper Professional Practice, nak determine case tu court mana, court ni case mana sampai blur masa tu aku tawakkal je. Mampu doa je sampai terbawak dalam mimpi. Patah hati pulak waktu final, kau ingat senang aku nak adapt dengan situasi macam tu? Gagahkan jugak diri hafal, tidur tak lena mata nak lelap payah. Paling lama pun dua jam, aku cuma nak cakap ALHAMDULILLAH syukur sangat aku sampai jugak tahap apa yang aku nak. Lima sem aku tunggu, sem akhir baru aku dapat. Allah dengar jugak doa aku, even aku tahu aku manusia banyak buat dosa, harini aku tahu Allah sayang aku, Allah dengar doa aku. Terima kasih Ya Allah. 

Tapi sekarang rasa takut balik, takut aku cepat lupa dan Allah tarik nikmat yang aku rasa sekarang ni?

Aku harap tak, aku akan terus berdoa.

I pray the best for me,
The best for my family,
The best for my friend,
And the best for everyone.

24 Mar 2014


Tak. Bukan tak move on. Cuma masalah hati, bila datangnya kenangan aku rasa kesakitan.

21 Feb 2014


Aku dah lama tak menangis macam orang gila, tapi hari ni aku lepas semua.

8 Feb 2014


I don’t know how it happened exactly, it just did...maybe we couldn't really see each other’s heart or pain, maybe it was just too hard, maybe we needed time, maybe we were angry, maybe too much built up without the words,  maybe we loved each other too much, maybe we were just tired, or maybe..we're not meant for each other

25 Jan 2014